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Your Body is Your Soul

by Boy Without God

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Bryan Hauver
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1.
Holy Holy Little Fist 05:59
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Holy Holy Little Fist Burden me with white coats, twist apart my fingers into symphonies or wild oats single single single to the end of earth and cutlery, tools made out of birds and iron sawing at the wide world, tearing at the holy mother We are fields of wise goats defecating joyfully we prick our fingers with our souls, endless endless endless are we are fields of wise goats celebrating joylessly we scream until we fill the holes. endless endless endless we are not we are not the humiliation of never knowing the pleading eyes the phony longing he says "okay okay to the ocean but I will never drown with you" celebrate your cellophane the masquerade through windowpanes or eyes that churn so quietly endure endure the agony I know fate is a lead coat weighin weighin weighin on our silky ties and dead bolts all our exoskeletons I know fate is lead, molten, pouring pouring pouring into forms we cannot understand guided by our own two hands jesus and the lord god holy holy little fist holy holy little fist holy holy little fist well I know fate is a telescope a trick to take our eyes from us and drop them on the moonscapes flaccid flaccid evermore I know fate is a dead horse it's snowing in the desert tonight I wanna die young, by my own design because the humiliation of never knowing the crying child, the woman yawning the icy cold ejaculation bought for words of consolation he says "I am not an animal I am not an animal I am not an animal I am not an animal etc etc etc
2.
Your Body is Your Soul 01:42
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3.
If You 04:36
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lyrics! Your Body Is Your Soul Holy Holy Little Fist Burden me with white coats, twist apart my fingers into symphonies or wild oats single single single to the end of earth and cutlery, tools made out of birds and iron sawing at the wide world, tearing at the holy mother We are fields of wise goats defecating joyfully we prick our fingers with our souls, endless endless endless are we are fields of wise goats celebrating joylessly we scream until we fill the holes. endless endless endless we are not we are not the humiliation of never knowing the pleading eyes the phony longing he says "okay okay to the ocean but I will never drown with you" celebrate your cellophane the masquerade through windowpanes or eyes that churn so quietly endure endure the agony I know fate is a lead coat weighin weighin weighin on our silky ties and dead bolts all our exoskeletons I know fate is lead, molten, pouring pouring pouring into forms we cannot understand guided by our own two hands jesus and the lord god holy holy little fist holy holy little fist holy holy little fist well I know fate is a telescope a trick to take our eyes from us and drop them on the moonscapes flaccid flaccid evermore I know fate is a dead horse it's snowing in the desert tonight I wanna die young, by my own design because the humiliation of never knowing the crying child, the woman yawning the icy cold ejaculation bought for words of consolation he says "I am not an animal I am not an animal I am not an animal I am not an animal etc etc etc If You If you play an instrument I'm probably a little bit in love with you and if you strum a steel string while reclining on the bedsprings at my parents house we could be red and red on white the kindest firefight if you come to visit me in the name of anthropology I'll sleep with you and if you make me promises I'll probably be a little bit happier for the rest of my days tell me the sun won't overcome everything we've done and I won't turn around to find you gone in the outstanding wealth of the open country we could plant our shoes fresh from the landing-strips of the crowded cities we could be red and red on white the kindest firefight If you fall in love with me and if I fall in love with you what will we do? Distances are skin and hair but is some great weight waiting there to pounce on us? To make us go and face the truth we don't know what we want or who but if you stand serenely undisturbed by fate's topography we'll safely stay and someday we can call the same bay windows and stone walls by the same three words: home sweet home. and the sun won't overcome anything we've done and I won't turn around to find you gone
4.
Someone You Could Miss 01:39
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5.
So Loud, So Far, So Deep 05:33
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So Loud, So Far, So Deep Every time I am calm in the knowledge that I will win pain will subside and I will be whole and new and pleased to meetcha no matter who you are pleased to meetcha no matter who you are but one time it will be a point of light so pure it could only be in the center of a cooling television So loud, so far, so deep, I will not catch my breath anyone who ever loved me, even secretly, will hear my name and see red, raw meat sickly shining like a blade sickly shining like a blade I will ruin them with my leaving, and that's what I want this is no time for kind detachment or benevolent silence but for running through the sprinklers in the dark for making memories with edges that are sharp my stock will go up in one last great spike before the great crash crashes and the bread lines form so loud, so far, so deep, I will be powerless to stop it this is why I want to call you at 4 a.m., rouse you from sleep just so I can take something away wake the man next to you now, saying: knowing this old love, knowing all this how could you? how fucking dare you say my name and not mean forever?
6.
Missiles of Light 04:31
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Lately I been feeling kinda down It's been rainy in my head and in the town and I think maybe it's because you're not around I've been lazy, in my bed while the earth goes round and round and round come home and maybe we could get a little crazy on my back porch let the neighbors watch I know you'll hate me in a month or three so let's bet it all away while our hand's still hot I wish I had a life to give to everyone I love I know you'll hate me in a month or three when I leave you for my new life but darling that day's just as far away and inescapable as the endless, airless night through which those missiles of light glide on softly resigned to bring on endings to good things and bad so tonight, you'll turn off the lights but I want them all on, let's remember everything. I'm sorry I'm not sad about disappearing.
7.
Moments of Euphoria Experienced Walking Across Bridges and Riding Up Escalators 04:06
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8.
Leaving Boston 04:29
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Loose ends like ladies hands pull me raw awake I cannot sleep inside this house, I wait I wait I wait for music or for love, descended from above but they only come to liars eyes wide so I call you up just to hear your voice recorded the miles at my feet and the miles at your feet add up to broken hearted We've got time We've got time I must remember troubles fall away from me, cold and clean cold and clean oh god oh god so much sky fills my mind oh my oh my heart cold and free oh god oh god when I fly I won't look down when I fly I won't look down when I fly I won't look down when I fly I won't look down when I fly I won't look down when I fly I won't look down
9.
Someone I Love 06:12
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just being awake, I feel blessed and full of grace I am a machine of perfect mortality and I, I am the sky that swallowed you up, up, up I still look the same, but I am not the same I'm never the same cause someone I love is gone someone I love is gone in the middle of the trees, there's a system of one, two, three stones where my sister fell and in the middle of my life, there's a blank spot where I, I, I cannot unlearn how fragile we are and how lucky two someone I love is gone someone I love is gone from my open arms to my empty hands the weight of your absence measured in sand someone I love is gone and serious men with serious beards say that nothing, nothing at all is real but I don't subscribe I may not exist, but I will still love, love, love everyone here til I disappear and this, this is a song we can all sing a long, long, long time cause it's always the truth and it goes like this someone I love is gone someone I love is gone from my open arms to my empty hands my heart is an engine seeking to understand the truth of my body, the truth of the land someone I love is gone from my open arms to my empty hands my shining eyes locked on lives made of sand forgive me my darling as only you can forgive me for being no more than a man who sings, "someone I love is gone"

about

Recorded summer 2008 above a pizza place in Cambridge, MA, the little fluctuations and takeoffs of my soul.

credits

released July 1, 2009

All sounds and words by Gabriel Birnbaum
Engineering and Production by Nick Boyajian
Art by Fiona Logusch

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Boy Without God Brooklyn, New York

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